Bienvenido a Miami

Wahoo!!! It was such a fun relief stepping off of the plane into 80% humidity, and I am serious. Nothing says you have left the frigid potatoes for the tropics like that. It was sick in a bad way and sick in a good way. We got a free upgrade when we got to our hotel so we ended up with an awesome view of Biscayne Bay, a neighbor to South Beach.

I was FAMISHED. I had already gone into cruise mode expecting my free buffet but nothing in a "safe" walking distance (to me safe was the lobby) was open so we settled for an $8 beer and called it a night. With promises of a great Cuban restaurant down the road I fell into a light sleep with cuban sandwiches and pineapple dancing in my brain.

That morning we got into our second of many sketchy magoo cab rides and headed to Latin Cafe. It was tasters but didn't knock my socks off. What did were the people. One 92 year old woman gave our 23 year old, and completely unamused waiter, her phone number on the back of a receipt and instructed him to give her a ring (accompanied by a ravenous laughter). Then came the outfits. The theme for Miami is tight and illegal. I saw a tank top that had spent the night being shredded by a tiger, then thrown into a shark tank only to be rescued by Edward Scissorhands. She showed more skin than tank. But I was down with it. I wasn't so sure about her underwear made out of denim. Clearly they were underwear. Had to be. Nobody would make "shorts" like that. But I fear the worst. Someone has made them and even worse, people, large people buy and wear them to BREAKFAST! Ok, ok...Will Smith did not mention this in his 1998 hit single. I was misinformed.

After digesting our new friends and food, we made our way to the port to stand in line for a couple of hours. That was a crack-up in itself. All of these funny people who don't understand why one line is moving and theirs isn't but think they deserve the world. Agh. It was funny. I think. And sad.

Finally we boarded the ship. It was AWESOME! Our rooms weren't ready for another hour so we headed straight for the pool bar and ordered a bucket of beer for the bargain price of $25. WHAM! I had heard but wasn't prepared. No worries. It wasn't real money until the end. You just rack it up on your card and pay for your week of gluttony and sins on the last day. Gluttonous I was.

Before we pulled away we practiced our evac procedures in case we hit an iceberg and sank. They said we had enough life boats for everyone. Sure. I know how this one ended. No thanks. Being on the 5th floor (AKA Steerage) I know we wouldn't even get to hear the string quartet playing as we plummeted to our deaths with Jack and Rose.


The ship was fantastic. I think it is a pretty new one. Totally rad with 12 restaurants, bunches of bars, lots of pools and other fun things. That night we just ate at the free buffet and relaxed by the pool. As you can see Nick got really relaxed as we watched the sun set pulling out of Miami.